Week 2

Day 13: White

Posted on May 20, 2010. Filed under: New Age, Week 2 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |


I wasn’t really feeling the flowy New Age clothes since it was cold out so I opted for the next best thing: color therapy. At least in Ayurvedic medical practices it’s good to wear light colors in order to feel happier. I had a white jacket I never wore because I spilt turmeric on it and there was still a yellow stain on my arm but I decided why not and took it out for the day.

 

I was excited to feel happy but I think brown was the intended color for me to wear that day. On the way to school from my house I realized I forgot to grab my stir fry which would be the food for the day so I called mom who was at home to drop it off at a good middle ground. The middle ground was a local coffeehouse. I got myself a coffee there and realized it was incredibly bland so I opened the lid to add some sugar. I didn’t close the lid well enough though because as soon as I took a drink I looked down and there was a giant spill of coffee all down my white jacket and it was only 10am! As I began to remove my jacket I realized I had decided to wear a brown tank top (I was worrying it would be white and got stained as well) I guess brown was just my color today.

 

Looking into color psychology more, I realized that white isn’t really a good color to wear anyway. Mostly I think it’s a crappy color because I have to try to not touch anything but it also is known to be uninviting and somewhat hostile. Brown on the other hand creates a sense of strength and reliability, two virtues I have been especially craving for schoolwork and my blog. On the down side it can make me feel sad and isolated, but on the contrary today I felt surrounded by friends and pretty happy. I’m going to go shopping for some vibrant colors from now on to see if colors help me. Green sounds like a good color for me: it’s supposed to make you much more relaxed and helps you read! I think I could do with some yellow clothes though, as they make you happy and optimistic. Still, yellow is my least favorite color, I might just feel ugly the whole day.

I’ve been especially lethargic today and I don’t know how or why. It’s becoming increasingly harder to get out of bed, which is kind of depressing. My motivation is steadily rising, but my concentration and peacefulness have gone down a lot. I feel though as if I’m being guided towards awakening/enlightenment: during my break from New Age I began to indulge in activities and food that I couldn’t really indulge in the past. The activities that traditionally brought me great happiness (eg internet surfing and TV) seemed to bring me something more akin to frustration. I looove Ling Ling pot stickers and made some the night before I renewed my experiment. Ling Ling pot stickers were one of my mood lifters before this; they are so expensive (compared to their much cheaper competitor) but so tasty they became the coveted meal for home meals.

 

I feel like once I become aware of my ego, the less it maintains its grasp on my soul and doesn’t allow for me to fall back on dysfunctional thinking. There are things I’m learning from the Eckhart Tolle book I’m currently reading, and one of them is that we rely on “form” (e.g. objects, activities, tangible things) to make us happy, to define us. I never considered myself in that light but I do have my vices like pot stickers and candy. I rely on some things to make me happy at times, so it was really interesting to finally be able to indulge in what I thought would make me happy, and not become happy from it even though it wasn’t something I had overindulged in.

 

Noah and I were too late to do Dhammakaya meditation because we wanted to go out to Indian food with Riley, a friend. We decided to just go to our office which had couches and peaceful lighting and do it there. We meditated Riley’s style, which was much more laid back than Dhammakaya style. It was a little less successful than my last time meditating, which could probably be attributed to the fact I hadn’t meditated for a while. I eventually fell asleep (the second time that day I passed out) but I am beginning to recognize how vital meditation is to my well-being. While it can be somewhat stressful to not do well at it I found that I was finally really at peace in my body and I needed more.

 

I’m going to try to do it whenever I have spare time. I think I’m going to try it before bed every night. In fact, I tried it tonight! I was having trouble getting to sleep (probably because of all the little naps during the day) and tried to meditate in bed to quiet my mind. I don’t know how well it worked because I passed out pretty quickly after but I think this will prove to be a great sleeping aide.

 

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Day 12: Relapse

Posted on May 19, 2010. Filed under: New Age, Week 2 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |


Despite the fact I’ve been able to watch TV, go online, and eat animal products to my heart’s desire, the transition back to New Age is a rough and rocky road.
The night before I had Thai food with Noah at our favorite Thai restaurant. I was greatly looking forward to being vegan again because it would force me to eat healthy. I got a delicious stir fry with chicken and was looking forward to eating it the next day. This morning I realized I couldn’t eat the leftovers; there was CHICKEN in it, how stupid of me! I was also looking forward to the peacefulness New Age brought me.

 

It seemed my medicine bag significantly helped me deal with my negative emotions because whenever I was without it I felt volatile but whenever I wore it during the day frustrations didn’t seem to bother me. This is really interesting because I was convinced the medicine bag was doing nothing for the longest time so I have my doubts on the placebo effect. Though I was intensely hoping it would work because I really wanted it to, so maybe it’s The Secret? However it happened to work, it worked!

 

Today, I woke up at 10:30. It was so amazing to be able to genuinely rest! I know I mentioned this in my last post but I can’t help myself; it was so good! Being able to just relax and lay in bed is one of my greatest weaknesses: it’s like a drug. It reminded me of finishing girly girl and being voluntarily bedridden for spring break (instead of partying, I was on the internet!). After a while it began to depress me but not enough to stop. I had relapsed into my internet addiction, and there was no turning back. I couldn’t go on a computer without checking my favorite sites. Things seemed to escalate pretty quickly, and it was only when I decided on New Age and began the experiment when things changed.

 

Speaking of girly, the weather was nice so I got to wear my really cute dress I got in Vegas! Too bad it was only nice weather for the morning, then things got really bad pretty quick!

 

I only got about 2 days of internet time for this break, but today I realized how far I’d relapsed when I caught myself going on Cracked.com for no good reason. It was disappointing and a little frightening; I’d always considered myself in complete control of my impulses, that it wasn’t my impulses I needed to keep in check it was my laziness.
For some reason, the Internet had a pull on me I couldn’t resist. Vegas and I may not have chemistry but the internet always incites a passionate and scandalous affair. Poor Noah; sometimes he even complains about how he’s losing me to its charms.

 

Perhaps taking a break isn’t such a good idea after all. I just need to develop some sort of anti-laziness formula for these experiments. It makes things that much harder though when I’m so busy in general. I hate being busy; I hate it more than being lazy! I always see busy people and how pompous they act about their “full” lives; “sorry, we can’t hang out this weekend, or the next, I have a life you know…” and I guess it’s not that I really resent them. I more resent myself for trying to become like that, like I was wasting too much time enjoying myself instead of running around having obligations to other people. Being one of them I realize at times I have even less of a life than before I was busy; before I was busy Noah and I would just sit in his room all day doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.

 

I think that’s a hard thing to accomplish with New Age: how do I experience the full spectrum of what it’s like to be New Age while valuing spare time? Aren’t New Age people supposed to be anti-busy? I mean, busy people are usually stressed out people who work too hard and are a bit high-strung right? So then New Age people can’t be too busy! But I need to read a mountain of books and try a year’s worth of activities in just a month. I’m not making good time on this thing.

 

Anyway, it was a gradual easing in today. Not an incredible amount of progress, but many revelations nonetheless. I made another giant dish of stir fry tonight along with some homemade sauce. I REALLY NEED to start making some different vegan recipes!! Vegan recipes intimidate me: anything with substitute meat, eggs, or dairy makes me cringe. I can’t help it; I just have this strong association with vegan food being a crappy sub-par substitute for the real thing. I kinda want to make a cookbook called “Naturally Vegan” with recipes that aren’t replacing old favorites but were originally made and just happen to not have any of the offending ingredients in them.

Completely irrelevant, but here’s a list in progress of benign foods that greatly intimidate me (not for political reasons, and most I still eat and like):

  1. Bananas (made me so constipated one time I had to go to the ER)
  2. Oranges
  3. Mexican food (I can’t eat it without looking like an idiot)
  4. Vegan pastries (usually really dry, and most likely the cook of them is anticipating your reaction while you eat them)
  5. Crappy burgers (from cafeterias, convenience stores etc. )
  6. Mangoes (I can’t eat it without looking like a dumbass, also the stringies get in my teeth at the only times when I don’t have floss nearby)
  7. Kiwis
  8. Wendy’s (the 2 times I ate there, I got sick)
  9. Pho noodle soup
  10. Flax oil
  11. Food with tofu in it instead of meat
  12. Garbanzo beans
  13. Pickles
  14. Mustard
  15. Okra

 

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Day 10 and 11: Stress, Stress, and PMS

Posted on May 11, 2010. Filed under: New Age, Week 2 | Tags: , , , , , , , , |


Day 10

Today has been very unrelated to my experiment. I worked on transferring my blog over. WordPress is a lot more complicated and versatile than Blogger so I had to manage a lot of details to make sure my blog was ideal. I’ll continue to edit it until I finally have it exactly how I have wanted it for a while. Thank you for dealing with it for now. I have one layout in mind but the color scheme is too depressing so I’ve been trying to change the CSS. Considering the fact I just recently dropped my HTML/CSS class because it was too hard, I think I’ve been doing pretty damn good, but it will be a long process.

 

This week will have little to do with New Age as I’ll be too busy to do anything. Tomorrow I have a dress rehearsal for a play, the next two days after that will be performance. Friday will be a school dance, and Saturday-Monday I’ll be in Vegas. Did I mention I’m going to Vegas? Yeah I know, not very New Age but I was invited before I did this and Noah and I were exclusively invited by a friend. The tickets and cab fare are covered so pretty much it would be terribly stupid to not go. I’m thinking of adding on an extra 5 days to this month to make up for this business. If you think that’s a good/bad idea, talk to me about it on the comments.

 

In the car I’ve been listening to tapes of “The Secret”. I’ve seen the movie but I’m glad I’m hearing it again because I like to be reminded of its power.

 

Noah and I went to PCC and finally got some crystal deodorant. It’s been a long week not using any deodorant (the carcinogen-laden stuff I was using was unacceptable for this). I just did some research on this stuff (wiki actually didn’t help me this time) and found out some of the crystal deodorants are bad: the ones that have synthetic salts (ammonium alum) in them are bad but the natural salts (potassium alum) are good. I have the good stuff!! Yay!

 

The big downside to this stuff is that it insists I must apply it to clean skin. So I have to shower every morning or wipe my armpits with a rag before applying this? I actually got this deodorant a few years back. I remember being completely put off by that direction and I stopped using it after a few days. When it took it out it had dissolved into little cubes of crystal and needless to say was unusable.

 

Later that night I made some Thai veggie potstickers. They were delicious! They didn’t come with a sauce but I suggest using chili sauce (for spring rolls), it’s amazing!


 

 

 

Day 11

 

This morning I made Tofurky beer brats. There are 27 grams of protein in one brat (and 13 grams of fat…but ½ as much as a real brat)! I liked Tofurky more than I expected. It isn’t meat but I kinda like that about it. I’m not really big on meat anyway; I can appreciate when meat compliments a good recipe or when it is delicious (like actual beer brats on a campfire) but in general it doesn’t really appeal to me. Stir fry, anything to do with pan-fried veggies sounds delicious.


 

 

I’ve found a great sanctuary at home. The spare room is a great place to isolate myself, listen to some New Age music, and light a Nag Champa. I think I’ll continue to listen to New Age music when it comes to working; it’s peaceful and usually there’s no English lyrics. I love that because I don’t have to concentrate on the music at all while working. I usually play music to tune out the rest of the world, not because I need something else distracting me.

 

Oh guess what Noah saw today? An eagle flying over both of us! I was facing the other direction so I didn’t see it but still, that’s the fourth sighting!!

 

Today was incredibly stressful! I have to be in a play tomorrow and rehearsals went terribly (at least in my honest opinion). There seems to be too much stupid crap going on right now and I’m really really sick of it. On top of it all I’m PMSing! Girls, please tell me this happens to you too: whenever I’m PMSing everyone seems to be trying to get me more pissed than I can handle. Remarkably I haven’t blown up yet though I’ve definitely not been centered and have been unable to center myself.

 

When I got home tonight I wasn’t tolerable of anyone or anything. Poor Noah, he is so kind but he takes the brunt of all my frustrations.

 


 

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Day 9: Church

Posted on May 9, 2010. Filed under: New Age, Week 2 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |


This morning I went to a Unitarian Church. My mom goes and I’ve been there before. I felt it was uncomfortably churchy… but it’s a church so what was I expecting?? But honestly, it was a little weird for my tastes. There were sermons, a choir, and singing and such a strong sense of community that it made me uncomfortable.

 

I have to admit that it seems like a great place where people can feel like they’re part of a community that takes them in with open arms. There was quite a variety of people and they were all very nice. During one of the sermons (is that the correct terminology for this?) many people in the room were brought to tears, it was a very powerful experience, and I realized that in this kind of environment no one would judge you if you cried. I plan to keep coming, and overcome my fear of being open with complete strangers.

 

There’s just this cheese factor that throws me off I guess, I feel like such a jerk though. I mean they are genuinely nice people, why should I feel uncomfortable? I really want to learn more about it and see if it makes me feel more spiritual. Hopefully I can push past that feeling of suspicion; if I can then I imagine my new self to be more secure in my own skin around strangers. That would be a great feeling!

The church program

Later that day I celebrated Mother’s day with my wonderful mother, who has been supporting me with this project and encouraging me to continue (mom, you are the best!). We had Indian food (again!) and I realized a lot of the awesomeness of Indian food has to do with the fact they ingeniously put yoghurt in their dishes. Unfortunately for me I couldn’t allow for any type of dairy in my diet, and while it was still delicious, that previous wonder I had for awesome Indian food had somewhat faded.

 

Well, I’ve always truly loved Asian food anyway, which is also more vegan-friendly as they rarely use milk or cheese.

 

We stopped at the expensive New Age shop again, this time mom was with me and we exchanged gifts. There are so many awesome things here; it’s just so unfortunate to see how expensive they are. Mom got me a cool New Age bag to replace my ugly leather purse and some ayurvedic soap that was strangely only $1.50.

The bag is amazingly light compared to my old purse; I’ll probably use it after this experiment. I have yet to use the soap; I’ll probably use it for Day 10. I don’t think I’ll like the soap, though it smells like India, I just have serious doubts because it was so incredibly cheap compared to every other product at the store. You know they were selling Nag Champa powder for $8?? It’s supposed to be burned and helps you become spiritually awakened. It was interesting because this little tiny baggie of loose powder compared to a box of Nag Champa incense that was sold for only $5 seemed so much less efficient.

 

Oh and guess what I saw today while in the car with mom? An eagle soaring above us; that’s the third hawk sighting!

 

During the teepee yesterday, someone mentioned what he called the “Simion” book (Later I found out it was called “Keys to Soul Evolution” and “Simion” are a collective of light beings here to guide humans). He said he asked a question to it and opened it and he would receive cryptic but relevant responses. I found out that I had this book at my house and decided to try it out. I asked “Will my blog be successful?” and the reply was about the great and infinite potential humans have. So this means I have a lot of potential? I was pretty disappointed with that revelation, and felt that it said a whole lot of nothing.

 

Maybe I’m just doing it wrong? I found out from my mom it wasn’t a tradition stated within the book itself, it was one that was formed elsewhere independently.

 

I also finally got around to reading Eckhart Tolle (“A new Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose”). His stuff is incredible! I am very skeptical of abstract concepts, and his book began with the concept that flowers, birds, crystals, and precious stones held a lot of significance because contemplating them would open one into the realm of the spirit. It seemed a little much to me, a little…”wtf” I guess would be the best way I could explain how I felt about it at first.

 

But soon enough the concepts began to come together to a fundamental idea of “awakening”. Here I realized that Eckhart Tolle had really done his research. He cited many religions and their similar concepts of “awakening”, from “salvation” to “enlightenment”. He said we were suffering from “dysfunction” which was the cause of all the destruction we caused upon ourselves and the planet. If we did not become awakened soon, then it would be our failure to adapt and we would all die.

 

This really struck a chord with me. The concept made perfect sense. Still, a lot of it seemed to be more from psychology than spirituality, and that whole new idea made me wonder if this “awakening” could be done without seeking spiritual guidance.

Could someone seek to better themselves strategically in such a way that made them eternally happy? A lot of spirituality seems closely related to psychology, so why wouldn’t it be possible for a psychologically minded person to find eternal happiness, or maybe something different but akin to the same concept of awakening. Perhaps I’m confusing awakening with supreme wisdom, I don’t know if I truly understand the concept yet, so I should just ponder it after I’ve read it more.

 

The way Eckhart Tolle speaks of his teachings makes me wonder if Texe Marrs (author of “Dark Secrets of the New Age”) was on to something when they said the New Age movement is trying to dominate the world. Of course, I don’t think the intentions are malicious, and Marrs acts as if that were something terrible and unheard of (despite Christian attempts to convert any and every country they can).

 

What if there will be a movement, a divide not between Christians and New Agers, but Atheists and New Agers. What if society begins to devalue spirituality and value only what has been proven through studies and experiments? What if society begins to value the benefits of multiple spiritualities, recognizing that no one religion is meant to be the only right way.

 

It always seemed to me that culture has leaned toward Atheism and further away from religion. But now that I’ve done this experiment, I see spiritually minded people absolutely everywhere! Spirituality never seemed necessary to me before this, but I can see at some points it’s vital to explore one’s spirituality. It’s a journey that takes a lot of balls to be honest. To sit there and read something you know sounds ridiculous, to wear clothes you know make you feel good but are seen by others are tasteless, to practice exercises that put you in very unflattering or silly positions.

 

It takes some guts to be that open to new things, and I honestly must applaud New Age men for being so much stronger than the typical man. You are so ignored in this genre, so much so that when I was at the New Age store with my mom there was a bookshelf that was divided in halves: Women and Men. The men’s side was on the left, and there were 8 books that filled this section (the rest of the bookshelf was filled with books about women)! A man exploring his spirituality should be revered more than a woman in my opinion.

 

Whenever a man does something that has the potential to emasculate him in front of his “manlier” peers and he doesn’t care, that to me is true confidence. When a woman does it, it of course is respected, but it doesn’t put them in a position as it does for men. What’s interesting is how traditional that dynamic is; women are more emotionally in tune and thus wouldn’t be judged if they chose a spiritual path to self betterment while men are expected to be skeptical and objective.

 

Not to say that I honestly expect these things of either. I myself am more like a man at heart while Noah seems to have a much easier time becoming spiritually in tune. The dynamics still exist though, despite many of us knowing that they aren’t needed.

 

Anyway, later that night since it was Sunday I realized I needed food to tide me over for school on Monday. I decided to make my favorite dish: stir fry!! Not to toot my own horn, but honestly, I make phenomenal stir fry. Just look at it! I’m going to jump on the foodie blog bandwagon for a second:

 

Corrina’s Delicious Stir Fry Recipe

 

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Day 8: teepee

Posted on May 8, 2010. Filed under: New Age, Week 2 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |


 

This morning I wanted to wake up at 5:30am to get an early and non-rushed start on my blog as I had obligations at noon. I like to get my blogs finished as soon as possible so it was important to me to get it finished before the busyness of the day began.

 

For some reason I just did not want to get up; I snoozed the alarm until 7! This was very upsetting for me as I try to be as consistent as possible with this project. I don’t want my readers to lose interest, and knowing myself (or rather, acknowledging my ADD), I would lose interest fairly easy.

We had to leave in somewhat of a hurry, and I realized with dismay that I didn’t have any vegan food to tide me over. Noah and I stopped at a grocery store, got some expensive organic cereal, some Kombucha, and some fruit.

Kombucha is a very strange drink. It tastes like carbonated light vinegar, and makes me feel really strange. It has a .5% alcohol content, but there’s something else about it too. It feels as if it’s working to cleanse my body of impurities, which may explain why I made so many bathroom breaks afterwards.

 

 


 

Later that day though I met with a life coach and she pointed out to me that New Age people don’t live by such strict standards and that I should embrace my inner flake. This concept was a huge weight off my shoulders; I felt immense relief in knowing I didn’t have to set such high standards for myself.

 

Of course, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m loosening the reins on my perfectionism about my blog. If I choose to scratch the surface of my experience out of laziness, I’m losing what makes this blog readable. Generic writing and thoughtless thinking are factors that lose readers, not inconsistency.

 

It taught me a lot about letting go of the need to put myself down and thus, put more weight on my shoulders than needed. I’m learning to loosen up, which is vital to becoming spiritually centered.

 

Later that day my mom told me about a teepee she was going to. She said it was a private teepee and she didn’t know if I could go so she made a quick call and told me I could attend the potluck portion.

 

In my head I imagined a circle of adults talking about new spiritual challenges and theories they had. I visioned it would be somewhere in a living room/lounge area, the food would be ethnic and most likely vegan/vegetarian. I realized maybe I should take things more literally though because when I got there, there was an actual teepee!

 

The house itself was where the potluck occurred and the food consisted of mostly salads, one roast chicken, some vegan cake (from mom), and some chips.

 

Most of the people had heard about my blog from my mom, and mom had forwarded me some of the their emails as a resource for gathering more knowledge of New Age people. Some of them were very much against labeling themselves as New Age. The label seemed to hold a stigma to it, even more so that girly girl.

 

I’ve never heard much animosity towards the New Age movement myself. Though at times there seemed to be a lack of respect for their beliefs. I think that many people are under the impression that New Age people believe in things considered completely ridiculous many like extraterrestrials and faeries. I think there are some beliefs that are hard to take seriously, and when a genre of people are associated with those beliefs (whether or not New Age people actually believe them) people tend to not respect them too.

 

Also, there is a slightly threatening stigma created by the church. The host of the teepee showed me a book she had called “Dark Secrets of the New Age” written by Texe Mars, a Christian.
It was interesting that to some New Age was viewed as an organized movement to dominate the world.


 

I could sense there was some tension about my intentions with my blog and what I was trying to say/thinking about these people. I made sure to not push the subject, and I explained as much as I could without ranting that my intentions were not to label.

 

Later throughout these experiments, I expect to be met with a lot of hatred/animosity towards my project, as it is easy to take it the wrong way. Some people think I’m not able to accept myself, and that I’m doing this because I wish I were a different type of person than myself.

 

Some people think I’m insulting/stereotyping certain subcultures, and are angry that I’m being so disrespectful. Others are simply upset about the idea of labeling anyone, a complaint I fully understand, but I also understand that if I say that I’m going to be more “spiritually minded” for a month then it wouldn’t have as much power as saying “New Age”.

The negative connotations are really what makes this project interesting (at least to me). I used to wonder “Why would anyone want to identify as girly girl? It’s not something to be proud of, its terrible and shallow!” But as I became more exposed to girls like that I came to realize they had something that I was missing and many of them seemed happy in their own ways. Still, many people have problems with most specified personality types, and I hope reading this will show that its good to broaden your horizens.

I wanted to ask them all “What do you believe in? What do you practice?” but I didn’t want to seem as if I were pushing them into labels. They were very logical people, and their beliefs were their own, that much I could tell. There were no crazy theories thrown out there, no pushing of a new idea. It was full of open conversation about many ideas.

 

When it came to everyone actually entering the teepee I got up to leave but someone asked why I needed to go and eventually it was agreed upon that I was welcome to join them (as long as I didn’t blog about what everyone said).

 

The teepee was very roomy, and not at all what I was expecting (though honestly, I didn’t know what to expect). there were wooden benches surrounding a fire pit, the fire was lit and the smoke was floating through a hole in the roof. It was a great place, and I greatly wished that Noah could have been there as he always tells me how much he loves sitting around a campfire and talking.

 

The host read an introductory speech; I’m not sure what I’m at liberty to say and I honestly as I’m pretty sure the host wrote the speech herself, but it was meant to facilitate an open and honest environment, one that accepted all beliefs and concerns one that valued listening and confidentiality. At the end of her speech she said the four directions (east,west, north, south) represented a certain thing…what specifically I forget (I hope to talk to her about it later) and then someone took some really nice symbals, walked in each direction and chimed them once. The noise they made was really eerie, like the frequencies were somehow special, different than normal sounds.


This isn’t quite the same type of cymbal, but I googled the crap out of it

 

The circle went clockwise, and everyone was given a chance to express whatever they felt like expressing. I was worried that when it came to me I wouldn’t do it right; I would say something completely inappropriate or irrelevant, but as everyone shared their thoughts I realized this was a place where if I wanted I could simply sit in silence for 10 minutes or ramble about the most mundane recent events if I so chose. The security didn’t prevent me from feeling insecure about my ramblings. When my turn came around I felt an invisible force telling to keep it quick and simple, not to drawl on but to get the point across and be done.

 

I think that brought out a little known insecurity of mine. My age group especially makes it hard to hold a conversation for too long.

People talk about something for a short period of time and then someone changes the subject. I usually want to talk more in-depth but I try to be conscious of others and where they want to go in conversation. I usually have a lot more to say than just the definition of something, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing by any means, but many people are done thinking about it after they understand the basic principle of it, which is a concept I can at times respect.

 

I ended up cutting myself short, as I simply was not used to such an open and accepting environment. I felt silent voices anxiously complaining: “C’mon Corrina, everyone needs time to speak, you’re wasting everyone’s time!!”

 

Still, the session in itself was amazing and insightful. I realized how much I’ve changed over the past week and how much more open minded I’ve become. The acceptance within this group of people really made me remember that the world isn’t full of judgmental people I need to be leery of, that that mentality is not neccessarily the norm.

 

I felt blessed and grateful that I got to experience it, and left with a lighter load on my back. It was about a 4 hour long event overall, but it didn’t feel that long, and things could have gone longer if weren’t for the fact I had to pick up Noah from his house back to mine.

 

I’ve recently realized ever since this experiment Noah and I have seen a lot of hawks. It’s only been a week but there seem to be signs everywhere!

Strange Sightings since New Age

 

 

I was recently given a Shamanism book from someone who wanted to help. I read that people have “power” or “totem” animals,
but I am unsure if this is a sign of what my power animal is as it seems to indicate that your power animal comes to you in dreams, visions, or meditations. If the hawk were my power animal, I am very blessed to have such a majestic creature guide me!

 

I do think spiritually speaking this must be some kind of sign, some sort of signal. Of what I can’t say… But if you’re reading this and you have some knowledge that may be of use, comment please!! Not only me, but my readers will appreciate the feedback!

 

Noah and I both had had long but full days, so when we got home we passed out pretty quickly. It was a good day!

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