Day 25: Future
Today I wore my shirt from Day 7. I think may have mentioned that I received a compliment on it while at the New age book store and attributed it to the fact I looked the part. Today I received gushing compliments left and right. It makes me wonder if the people who liked this outfit are secretly new age but aren’t as out about it because I couldn’t imagine wearing a size large shirt like this warranting so many compliments. Perhaps I’m just so good looking I can pull off anything?? I’ll stick with that theory!
I don’t know, I suppose my fashion sense from girly has made me doubt all other styles. But this shirt is 2 sizes too big and I got it at Goodwill! Not that I have a problem with Goodwill, in fact many of my very favorite clothes (including some girly clothes) come from there, but this shirt was not exactly what I would ever expect anyone to appreciate out of a certain demographic.
New agers are a lot more prevalent than one would expect. It seems like the more I get to know people the more New Age they seem to become. All of a sudden they’ll know how to clear stones, they’ve been practicing meditation for years, or they know their past lives. I suppose I’m one of those people too; I seem to have a lot of spiritual values that align with New Age.
Today I also tried using the pendulum. I soaked it in saltwater for a few days to clear it and it did seem more vibrant than normal. I held it out with my right hand and stabilized its swing. I then asked it to show me ‘yes’ and ‘no’ then asked it obvious yes and no questions like “am I female?”. It seemed to be working but I soon realized I didn’t want any fortunes to be told. I finally asked one question regarding what I would be doing after the summer ended and the pendulum remained still. I think the fact that I’m holding the pendulum and therefore moving it reduces my belief in this thing.
I also realized how greatly I fear the coming future. Things are beginning to change, and soon I’ll meet a fork in the road: move in with Noah to a place I don’t want to live or travel on my own accord and be without him. Everything regarding my future is determined by this decision and I must make a choice. Either way I’m losing something I hold dear to myself. So…I don’t want any answers about my future.