Day 4: Beauty is Pain Part II
Today I woke up at 8:41 am. Since Noah and I were up late we didn’t wake up to the alarm.
The night before, I was also expecting my period to start. I thought to myself; “Ahhhhh! 2:30 and I’m finally putting my head on the pillow. Oh crap I need to have a pad or tampon for protection in case I start my period…. but I NEVER start my period in the morning, it’s always at night or in the late noon. But Corrina, you know how these things are – Shut up, there is a very low probability that this will be a problem! I’m just going to bed!”
I don’t need to explain what was smugly staining the sheets when I woke up. You know those Tampax commercials where mother nature is a really passive aggressive oblivious old woman (in case you don’t know here’s one of the commercials)? My version of mother nature is this fat jealous old hag who very aggressively and cleverly finds ways to ruin your day and publicly humiliate you.
My period was more pissed off than I was today because I swear it conjured up supernatural powers to completely ruin my morning.
Along with her making my alarm super quiet so we didn’t wake up in the morning, she also made sure to hit me where it hurts: I had chosen an outfit today that actually matched my favorite jacket. This red jacket is cute and amazingly comfy! I was greatly looking forward to feeling the comfort of warmth and softness on my skin. All I had to do was wash it and my outfit would be complete! When I took it out of the dryer it was COVERED in these:
Also called “pills”
Along with this I was coming to the realization that wearing the same shoes as yesterday was something of a death wish. Though this time I had socks to protect my ankles my feet were still being driven into the toe areas of my shoes at every step.
How can I describe this? Every step feels like a hammer is slamming into the balls of my feet while simultaneously tiny needles are driving deeper and deeper into my toes. This feeling gets more intense with each and every step, until I am literally driven to tears. My feet still feel sore from today, and tomorrow i have a whole new pair of heels!
I went to the mall with a friend in my cute but torturous ankle boots. I’ve learned my lesson since then, and I’ll be bringing more comfy shoes with me everywhere I go
I went shopping today for this outfit. I’m starting to shop smarter so as to save money, but the outfits aren’t nearly as awesome and are now going into realms I never knew of. For instance, that purple shirt/sweater thing. I have NO IDEA what the hell that is! I’ve never seen anything like it! I also saw something called a vest but what I would call a Sneed: a skanky Thneed. And no it didn’t look anything like a vest.
Since I bought open toed heels, I decided this would be the time to get nail polish. Purple would be a good color to match the dark brown of the shoes. The clerk said there was a buy 1 get 1 half off sale and that if I had an undercoat of white the color would look more vibrant.
When I was finished shopping I finally had time to reflect on the unbelievable pain I was experiencing. I was deep in the mall, and the long trek through it was daunting. When I finally made it to the car, I looked through my purse to find my phone so I could call my boyfriend. I’m terrible at knowing where I am so I needed directions on how to pick him up.
I looked through it everywhere but I could not find my phone. I was not going to go back in that mall though, so I decided to just try to figure it out and use my spare phone in case I actually left it at the mall. I was incredibly stressed and upset and while I was on the highway my phone rang. This made me burst into tears. Mother Nature once again ruined my night: she tore a hole in my purse pocket and my phone was deep inside my purse!
My emotional strength seems to have crumbled lately. This is most likely because I’ve been balancing school, work, and this blog while being on my period and dealing with my fear of people judging me while at the same time putting myself out there and telling people about the experiment. But I think it also has to do with the fact that my behavior is changing as well.
Being helpless and vulnerable feels more acceptable. Before I felt like I needed to “man up” because life is hard and unfair. Lately though, I feel like those emotional walls are breaking down. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’ve gotten nearly to the level emotionally as a girly girl, and I might be a lot more composed when my period ends and things calm down a bit but I’m expecting some behavioral changes to stick from these experiences.
When I got home I cracked open the nail polish and tried my best to make it look pretty
I said I tried my best
I haven’t painted my toenails in probably 7 or 8 years, which is a long ass time for a 20 year old! I remember when I did try that I always messed it up. I thought this was attributed to the fact that waiting for nails to dry takes a long time when you’re so young, but apparently it’s just that I’m really really bad at this.
Maybe I need to suck it up and pay the $35 for a pedicure
When I finally got to take off my earrings, my ears were even worse than before. They were more red and the holes now have this crusty stuff near the edges.
I did some interviews today, I asked people these questions:
- What’s your definition of a girly girl?
- What do you think of girly girls?
- Do you find them attractive?
- Would you be or are you friends with any girly girls?
- When you see a girl dressed up in a lot of makeup and accessories, what do you think?
- What do you like about girly girls?
- What do you dislike about them?
- Would you say the stereotypes are true?
- Would you or are you dating a girly girl?
- Would you marry a girly girl?
- Would you consider yourself a girly girl?
I’ve been getting some truly fascinating answer from people. It’s really interesting to see how a generally agreed upon stereotype can have such a variety of definitions and perceptions. I want to interview as many people as I can. I won’t have the videos up until I find someone who knows how to edit them and is willing to do so without pay (though it would look good on their resumes!). I want to compile them all and make something of a montage.
So far though, most men don’t really like girly girls. This is a relief to me, because before I was always annoyed that the most fake and shallow girls also seemed to be the most desired by men despite the fact that so many guys complain about controlling or high maintenance girlfriends.
It’s understandable that men gravitate towards the most attractive women, but what’s not understandable is the fact that so many men cannot differentiate between beautiful women and women who spend hours on their appearance.
I have to give those ladies props though because they are capable of amazing illusions!
Sorry for posting so late, I want to be more consistent, but I don’t think that’s a possibility with my schedule.